So any time I talked to Fancy Pants Man on the phone and the topic of cars or driving came up, he would refer to his car as a Pinto. As in "I drove my Pinto to work today." or "I had to fill the Pinto up with gas.". I guess he wanted me to ask what kind of car he really drove. Anyone that knows me knows I don't care about cars at all. I am not a good driver, and cars are meant to get you from point A to point B regardless of whether it's a Dodge Dart or a Maybach Landaulet.
Anyway...when we went on our date we drove separately (he was annoyed by this, even after I explained that I would never get in a car with a stranger...a great life tip told to me by my mom when I was a child and still pertinent today). We had decided to go to a sports bar after dinner to watch the end of a football game. I handed the valet my ticket first. While the valet was getting my car, he was giving me directions (Follow my Pinto and when my Pinto turns in three blocks, follow it. Park by my Pinto). When the valet returned, he looked at me, looked at my car, looked back at me and says "That's your car?" I answer, "Yes. I'll have my Pinto follow your Pinto." For the record, I drive a black Mercedes sedan, which is not meant to brag, but will become relevant soon.
So the valet goes to get his car as we're having this conversation. His car gets pulled up and I'm waiting for a BMW Z4 or a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder or something of equal awe factor. The valet pulls up with a Lexus SUV. And not the big one. Just the standard soccer mom SUV. Not that there's anything wrong with a Lexus SUV. But if you're going to pimp me all week about your "Pinto", your car had better fly or drive itself. And a Lexus SUV does neither.
